First of April - introduction

B.E.D.A - Blog Every Day in April.

I have decided to try BEDA for the first time. This sort of thing, just like NaNoWriMo, has appealed to me for the last few years but I have never planned far enough ahead or been incredibly aware of it to be able to do anything about it.

So for the first of April, you, Blog, have not an April Fool, but a promise. As this is my first BEDA, I really want to do it well. However, this first one will be really short, as I only have half an hour before I have to leave for university. Instead, you have a hastily complied blog post of random ramblings because I have nothing to talk about as my day has only just begun.

It's Friday. For many, this is TGIF and this includes me. I do have university on a Friday but it's not that bad. I have a one hour seminar at 11 and a one hour lecture at 2. For the very observant among you, you may notice (or not, because I am running on English time and many of you are American) that I have to leave an hour and a half before I am due on campus. Why is this, you may ask? This is because I don't live on campus, I still live at home because my house is within a 30 mile radius of the university. While it does mean I don't have to worry about fending for myself, rent and searching for accomodation, it does mean that I live so far away from campus and my friends, which makes it annoying to travel and to go out. However, I have grown accustomed to it - mum still makes me a packed lunch, I don't have to pay rent and I don't get homesick, like a lot of my friends.

Anyway, this ends the first blog of BEDA. I wish everyone luck who is trying this year and I hope you can all do the same for me. See you tomorrow!

The Future

What a scary topic.

People always ask you want you want to be when you grow up. As a kid, your hopes usually aspire to be grown up, as shown by the cutest pictures of you in your parents over-sized shoes and hats. When I was young, I can remember wanting to be a designer, a librarian, an artist, an actress, a writer and many more. It appears as a child, I had a flair for the artistic, if family videos of me making an entire house out of Duplo have anything to say about it.

Going into secondary school, my artistic flair flagged somewhat. Maybe it was due to the bullying and alienation I suffered or maybe I just realised that my talent in the arts had stopped at eleven-year-old level. Something stuck with me though: my talents in English. I have a strong memory of being in English class at age twelve and being the only one not having to do a spontaneous grammar test because I didn't making any mistakes. So I went down to the school library and read Tracy Beaker instead.

This might have been a sign, as I am now studying English Literature at degree level. But now that I am here, people want to know where I plan to take that degree into the real world. Well, I don't know! I just got here! Give me a bloody chance to finish the first year, first!

Right now, my plans for the future include a lot of essays, a third year dissertation, a flat with my boyfriend, graduation and beyond that... not quite sure. I'd like to have a career in writing or publication. My dream job is to be an editor - all I'd have to is read all day and be grammar police. That is my idea of heaven!

So, in ten years time, as a nearly 30 year-old (scary thought), I would love to have my dream job as an editor, living in a nice house with my boyfriend with my own library and two cats. The only problem is getting there. But all the good things in life you have to work for, I guess.

Presentation *shudders*

This morning, as soon as I woke up, I was panicking. Becuase this morning, I had to present a seminar with 4 other people. Our subject was 'Leisure and Pleasure' and I spoke about museums in the 17th, 18th and 19th century in London.
It was a nerve-racking experience. Even under normal circumstances, I hate giving presentations. But this morning, I had to stand in front of a class of about 20, plus my tutor, for over an hour and a half. Luckily, I only spoke for about ten minutes.
You know when you're nervous, and you speak too fast, and you know you are doing it but can't stop yourself, like you don't have a chance to slow down? And when you get the shakes, you can feel your hands and even your voice shaking and you can't calm yourself down? Yeah, I have that. And this morning, it was really bad. I rushed through my part of the presentation way too quickly.
Either way, its done now. my group went first and last week I couldn't believe we volunteered to go first but now I am glad we did. Now, we get to relax and watch the other five or six groups present and not have to worry about it every again.
Anyway, this has been a slight fail of a post but I haven't updated in a while and this was the most interesting part of my day. Another post soon, I promise Blog. I wouldn't want you to get withdrawl. *wink*

Musings on Love

As often happens, when I have free time, my mind tends to wander. Like, really wander. However, more often than not, my thoughts tend to lead back to one thing. Or rather, one person. My boyfriend.
* Before I go any further, I promise you Blog, I will try not to get too soppy or love-struck when writing this.*
I have been with my boyfriend now for nearly 4 years. Yes, you read that right. Most people, when I tell them this, gasp in shock and offer some form of congratulations. I suppose, as a 19 year old, a four-year relationship is pretty good. I mean, some of my friends have gone through boyfriends within months, sometimes even weeks.
Even though no-one asks, I sometimes find myself wondering why I love him as I do. He is not the perfect boyfriend. He is annoying, he has a strange fascination with first-person shooter games, he tends to ignore me for the computer. His way of thinking limits the romantic element of our relationship but he has his ways of showing me how he loves me. And before you ask, that is not always carnal.
But he is funny, and sweet, a little bit weird, he likes the same books, we have shared music tastes and he loves me. It's not about how much you have in common or the things you differ in, its the person you get to know. And he is the one. I don't care if people say we are too young, I can't see myself without him by my side. I cannot bring myself, even in my nightmares, to give up on him, on us.
Besides, if you have to ask yourself if he is the one, then he is not. I think you should just... know.

Spare Time

I am currently sitting in the library on campus, waiting for my English lecture. Unfortunately, it doesn't start for another hour and a half. Therefore, I am at an ends as to what to do with all my free time. This seems to happen a lot during the week, when I have an hour or two free between lectures. What I am supposed to do, on a half empty campus, when all I have on me is a pad of paper and my lunch? I feel like I should accomplish something with all this time but for the life of me, I cannot. I am separated by miles from my laptop, my work and my bed.
Lucky for some, my friend Sarah, who is sat next to me, can work on her notes for her presentation this afternoon. In a group that cannot decide on anything and she has barely met up with - but that is another rant all together.
Is this what my university life has come to? Wasting my time until lunch by writing a half-hearted blog post? That doesn't seem fair. And yet, I will continue nonetheless.
In other news, my memory stick, the one that has contained most, if not all, of my documents for the last three years, got smashed yesterday. The cord was tugged by an unsuspecting foot and the laptop flew off my lap onto the floor, crushing my poor memory stick under it. I believe I am actually in mourning for the poor thing sat on my boyfriend's bookshelf awaiting diagnosis. I cried for my diaries and stories that are now lost for probably the better part of an hour yesterday.
Well, I have successfully wasted half an hour, between writing this and helping Sarah with her presentation notes. Wish her luck and express your condolences for my dying memory stick.

Saint Valentine's Day

Yes, unfortunately we are going to talk about Valentine’s Day. I am one of the lucky ones to actually have a valentine, and I have done for the last 3 years, so I can’t really remember being aware that I was single for Valentine’s Day, considering I would have been about 15 and didn’t really care.

Nowadays, too much importance is put on whether you have a valentine or not each year. If you do, you spend extra time and money on a special day out, a meal, a present or three. If you don’t, especially if you are female, you will stereotypically be found in bed all day eating ice cream and watching chick flicks. Let’s face it, this is mostly true.

But actually, this commercial holiday has a religious basis, one that wasn’t glitter-covered.

The Saint Valentine most commonly associated with the 14^th of February lived under the rule of Claudius the second and was imprisoned for marrying Christian couples. Helping Christians was a crime at the time (ha, unintended rhyming) and he was condemned to death because he tried to convert the Emperor. The Saint Valentine remains in the Catholic Church’s official list of saints, the Roman Martyrology.

Now back to modern day valentines. I will try not to get too mushy on you, Blog. I spent mine mostly in the company of my valentine, my lovely boyfriend of nearly 4 years. We had a bedroom picnic with ice cream and chocolate and I made him watch Bridget Jones’ Diary. A lovely day spent with my love.

I hope, readers, that you have had a nice Valentine’s Day, with chocolate and silly movies and ice cream. But really, we don’t a valentine or an excuse for that.

Caution: Mad Thoughts

I feel as though I should write something. I'm not sure what. But I've started, so I might as well.

Let's see. Sunday afternoon. Typcailly it should be time of rest and relaxation before the hustle and bustle of Monday morning. My Monday mornings are not busy anymore (thank you university timetable). This Sunday afternoon has been spent watching Bones and trying to do some of my English essay.

I have a headache. My sleeves on my hoodie are really beginning to annoy. No, stupid sleeves, I need blood circulation to my arms, stop cutting it off around my elbows!

I apologise for the lack of coherent thought in this post. I am tired. But this is actually a real-life glimpse of the raw, insane thoughts of my (sometimes) working brain. I was going to put noggin, but that sounds... I don't know, almost common or something.

It's February now, isn't it? It was my friend's birthday on the first. She turned 19. Do you know what we did to celebrate her birthday? No, you don't, obviously, so I shall tell you. We went to the Jane Austen centre in Bath, because we are English nerds. We had posh tea in the tea rooms. Because we couldn't afford anything else!

Do you know how you can tell if you are an English nerd? I had a dream a few nights ago about Mansfield Park. That took my English nerdiness to the next level.

Have you noticed how quickly my brain switches from subject to subject? It's actually a little scary. And I'm not even writing everything down! For instance, right now, I have Hurricane in my head because I just watched a fanvid for it; I am also thinking about putting my TV back on to watch Bones - because Booth is hot. I am worrying over my essay because I have to write another 700 words in the next few days and I have no idea when I will be able to. I have a headache; I can't look at the screen for too long because it's making my eyes hurt.

I feel like I've just spewed all over the keyboard and I'm not even finished. Seriously guys, I am sorry for this pathetic excuse for a blog post. But, I have learned that just because you feel like writing something, if you don't know what to write about, then you probably shouldn't. Otherwise, you might just end up with this: a mess of incoherent thoughts and scaring away people. Oh, so kind of like normal then.