"Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?" ~Albus Dumbledore

Monday, 28 March 2011

The Future

What a scary topic.

People always ask you want you want to be when you grow up. As a kid, your hopes usually aspire to be grown up, as shown by the cutest pictures of you in your parents over-sized shoes and hats. When I was young, I can remember wanting to be a designer, a librarian, an artist, an actress, a writer and many more. It appears as a child, I had a flair for the artistic, if family videos of me making an entire house out of Duplo have anything to say about it.

Going into secondary school, my artistic flair flagged somewhat. Maybe it was due to the bullying and alienation I suffered or maybe I just realised that my talent in the arts had stopped at eleven-year-old level. Something stuck with me though: my talents in English. I have a strong memory of being in English class at age twelve and being the only one not having to do a spontaneous grammar test because I didn't making any mistakes. So I went down to the school library and read Tracy Beaker instead.

This might have been a sign, as I am now studying English Literature at degree level. But now that I am here, people want to know where I plan to take that degree into the real world. Well, I don't know! I just got here! Give me a bloody chance to finish the first year, first!

Right now, my plans for the future include a lot of essays, a third year dissertation, a flat with my boyfriend, graduation and beyond that... not quite sure. I'd like to have a career in writing or publication. My dream job is to be an editor - all I'd have to is read all day and be grammar police. That is my idea of heaven!

So, in ten years time, as a nearly 30 year-old (scary thought), I would love to have my dream job as an editor, living in a nice house with my boyfriend with my own library and two cats. The only problem is getting there. But all the good things in life you have to work for, I guess.

Tuesday, 22 March 2011

Presentation *shudders*

This morning, as soon as I woke up, I was panicking. Becuase this morning, I had to present a seminar with 4 other people. Our subject was 'Leisure and Pleasure' and I spoke about museums in the 17th, 18th and 19th century in London.
It was a nerve-racking experience. Even under normal circumstances, I hate giving presentations. But this morning, I had to stand in front of a class of about 20, plus my tutor, for over an hour and a half. Luckily, I only spoke for about ten minutes.
You know when you're nervous, and you speak too fast, and you know you are doing it but can't stop yourself, like you don't have a chance to slow down? And when you get the shakes, you can feel your hands and even your voice shaking and you can't calm yourself down? Yeah, I have that. And this morning, it was really bad. I rushed through my part of the presentation way too quickly.
Either way, its done now. my group went first and last week I couldn't believe we volunteered to go first but now I am glad we did. Now, we get to relax and watch the other five or six groups present and not have to worry about it every again.
Anyway, this has been a slight fail of a post but I haven't updated in a while and this was the most interesting part of my day. Another post soon, I promise Blog. I wouldn't want you to get withdrawl. *wink*

Thursday, 10 March 2011

Musings on Love

As often happens, when I have free time, my mind tends to wander. Like, really wander. However, more often than not, my thoughts tend to lead back to one thing. Or rather, one person. My boyfriend.
* Before I go any further, I promise you Blog, I will try not to get too soppy or love-struck when writing this.*
I have been with my boyfriend now for nearly 4 years. Yes, you read that right. Most people, when I tell them this, gasp in shock and offer some form of congratulations. I suppose, as a 19 year old, a four-year relationship is pretty good. I mean, some of my friends have gone through boyfriends within months, sometimes even weeks.
Even though no-one asks, I sometimes find myself wondering why I love him as I do. He is not the perfect boyfriend. He is annoying, he has a strange fascination with first-person shooter games, he tends to ignore me for the computer. His way of thinking limits the romantic element of our relationship but he has his ways of showing me how he loves me. And before you ask, that is not always carnal.
But he is funny, and sweet, a little bit weird, he likes the same books, we have shared music tastes and he loves me. It's not about how much you have in common or the things you differ in, its the person you get to know. And he is the one. I don't care if people say we are too young, I can't see myself without him by my side. I cannot bring myself, even in my nightmares, to give up on him, on us.
Besides, if you have to ask yourself if he is the one, then he is not. I think you should just... know.